Your Executive Function Skills Want You To Be Happier | Ep. 6
In this episode, Hannah and Amy revisit the strategies from their conversation with Neha, Hannah's therapist and a psychotherapist with nearly a decade of experience, and put an executive function spin on them. If you haven't listened to Episode 3 — What Hannah's Therapist Wants You to Know About Happiness yet, start there first as this episode is a direct callback to it and builds on everything Neha shared.
Executive function skills are the cognitive tools that get us through our days: attention, memory, task initiation, planning, prioritization, time management, cognitive flexibility, self-regulation, organization, metacognition, and goal-directed persistence. Hannah and Amy make the case that these skills don't just help us function, they help us be happier. And as it turns out, many of the strategies for building happiness are also, quietly, exercises in building executive function.
We walk through frameworks for organizing and prioritizing your wellbeing, including the PERMA model and the Covey Quadrants, and then dig into the practical, in-the-trenches strategies: how to push through discomfort and why the research says it's worth it, how to tell the difference between being unhappy and just being uncomfortable, how to challenge the stories you're telling yourself with the Table Exercise, why naming your emotions actually moves you out of your emotional brain and into your thinking brain, and how to build a gratitude or mindfulness practice that actually fits your life rather than the one you think you're supposed to have.
In this episode: the PERMA model through an EF lens, Covey Quadrants, Zones of Growth, pushing through discomfort, cognitive flexibility, the Table Exercise, name it to tame it, gratitude practice, mindfulness without the ohm, metacognition, and why you don't have to do any of this perfectly - you just have to take a step.
MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE
Episode 3 — What Hannah's Therapist Wants You to Know About Happiness The episode this one builds on directly. Neha introduces the PERMA model, the RAIN framework, cognitive flexibility, flow states, and more. Start here if you haven't already.
The PERMA Model: Developed by psychologist Martin Seligman, PERMA stands for Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment. It's one of the most widely used frameworks in positive psychology for understanding and assessing wellbeing. Learn more here.
Covey Quadrants / Eisenhower Matrix: A prioritization tool that organizes tasks by urgency and importance, helping you figure out where to focus your time and energy. Hannah and Amy suggest using it alongside the PERMA model to figure out which areas of your wellbeing need the most attention right now. See the matrix here.
Zones of Growth Model: The comfort zone, fear zone, learning zone, and growth zone. A visual model that maps the journey from safety into discomfort and out the other side into actual growth. See it here.
Moshe Bar research on pushing through discomfort: Hannah references research showing that pushing through discomfort supports mood, builds resilience, improves physical health, slows aging-related processes, and strengthens executive function skills. Learn more here.
The Table Exercise: Neha's cognitive reframing tool, described in detail by Hannah in the episode. When you have a sticky negative thought, especially one with an absolute in it like "never" or "always," draw a table. Write the thought at the top. Under each leg, write a piece of your supporting evidence. Then reframe each leg, looking for opportunity within it. When all four legs are reframed, rewrite the thought at the top. It's a pause, a regulation tool, and a mindset shift all in one. Works best when you write it out.
Name It to Tame It: Coined by Dr. Daniel Siegel. When you name an emotion out loud, you literally move from the emotional part of your brain into the language and thinking parts, which is why it works. It's not just a nice idea, it's neuroscience. Learn more about Dr. Siegel's work here.
Dan Harris: Hannah references Dan Harris talking about meditation as a bicep curl for the brain and meditating in Times Square. His book 10% Happier and his 10% Happier podcast are both worth exploring if you're curious about meditation but skeptical - he's one of the most honest and accessible voices on the topic.
Growth Mindset: Amy references this in the context of pushing through discomfort and building resilience. The concept was developed by psychologist Carol Dweck and is the foundation of her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Worth knowing the research behind it.
Hannah’s blog post on cognitive flexibility Read Hannah's blog post on her website about cognitive flexibility and how we can benefit from and practice it.
Gratitude journaling research: It really is science-backed, not woo-woo. This overview from the Greater Good Science Center pulls together some of the best research on why gratitude practice works and how to do it well.
Five-year line-a-day journal: Hannah kept one for five years and used it as a gratitude journal. She says looking back on it, especially through the pandemic, was genuinely helpful. Here's the journal she used.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Atomic Habits by James Clear: Almost everything Hannah and Amy talk about in this episode, including small steps, consistent routines, building habits that stick, maps directly onto James Clear's framework. If you want the science and the system behind why starting small actually works, this is the book.
Reach out to us! Email us at icanbehappier@gmail.com or visit icanbehappier.com. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. Please reach out to a qualified licensed provider if you need help.
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